


Tis the Season

by Malevelynce



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AU, Christmas, Christmas Party, College AU, Drunkenness, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gen, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Modern AU, Non-Graphic Violence, Platonic Date, Platonic Kidge, really horrible fashion sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 18:36:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12894270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malevelynce/pseuds/Malevelynce
Summary: Keith somehow manages to convince his coworkers he'll go to the Christmas Party, which is already a problem in the first place. But, he also managed to convince them that he'll bring his girlfriend.But seeing that he's dating Lance--who is not, in fact, a girl--he's left in a rather impossible situation.So he turns to Pidge, pleading that she pretend to be his girlfriend, just for one Christmas Party. Obviously, she has some terms and conditions.





	Tis the Season

Pidge picked something out from underneath her nail and snorted, rolling her eyes and commenting, “That sounds like a great idea, Lance.” The Cuban boy pouted and put his hands on his hips, turning away from Pidge and wrapping his arms around Keith's torso, dropping his face onto the boy's shoulder. Keith, who was cooking stir fry, suppressed a groan and turned down the heat on the saucepan.

“Doesn't it sound like a good idea?” Lance mumbled into Keith's t-shirt, bringing his hips closer to the other boy's.

Keith sighed and tossed some seasonings into the saucepan. “Honestly, babe, I'd have to say that filling the ice bucket in the fridge with pizza rolls so you can dispense them from the ice dispenser on the outside of the fridge is pretty dumb. I mean, what do we do when we actually want ice?” Lance pursed his lips and disentangled himself from around Keith's body. “What if I forget and end up filling my water with pizza rolls?”

“Obviously you get ice before water, Keith,” Pidge quipped, typing something out on her laptop with an air of utter disapproval. The roommates often wondered why the poor girl put up with their antics. It was probably because they were all broke college students and four people in one apartment might be a few too many, but it definitely cut down on the bill.

Keith rolled his eyes and turned off the heat to the burner, shoveling the stir fry into the bowls, placing one by the microwave for Hunk when he got home and dumping the pan into the sink. Lance grabbed his and Pidge's bowls, countering, “But if we _label_ it, then you never even have to open up the freezer to get pizza rolls! It's so convenient.”

Pidge, tired of his bullshit, squeezed the bridge of her nose and leveled her gaze on Lance. “Let's put it to a vote. You need majority since you are changing something and it requires effort. All for pizza rolls instead of ice raise your hand.”

Lance, with a defiant look on his features adamantly raised his hand. When he saw neither of them raised their hand, he dropped his mouth open and stared at them incredulously. “Excuse me? This is a great idea!”

“I love you, but no. No it's not.” Pidge almost spit out her food as Keith put a hand on Lance's shoulder with a concerned and slightly bored look on his face. Lance ate the rest of his meal in an angry silence as Keith and Pidge made light conversation, avoiding the topics of pizza rolls and ice.

As soon as Hunk got home, Lance jumped out of Keith's arms from where they had been cuddling on the couch and watching a movie. Keith ran a hand through his hair and crossed his arms, angrily motioning for Pidge to come sit next to him instead; she grabbed a pillow and dropped it in Keith's lap, stretching her small legs to take up all of the couch. She deviously turned up the sound on the TV to drown out Lance's excited babble, pitching his idea to Hunk.

The poor guy had just gotten home and was now being bombarded by Lance and his awful plan. Hunk awkwardly defended the ice, scratching the back of his head, letting a laugh bubble from his lips, marveling the insanity of his roommate. Lance let his shoulders drop as Hunk dismissed the idea and started heating up his dinner with a grumble from his stomach and smile on his face. Lance turned back to the couch and let his mouth drop open.

“Pidge! I was sitting there! Keith, you made her sit there, didn't you? You don't love me,” he whined, dramatically stumbling to the TV, pretending to swoon and conveniently block the screen from the two traitors. Pidge was having a laughing fit, bringing her knees up to her chest as she giggled, rolling around on the couch. Keith couldn't help but let a few chuckles out himself, watching as his boyfriend pantomimed being shot in the heart and slowly crumpled to the ground.

Lance ended up pouting and sitting in the overstuffed chair with a groan and an angry set of crossed arms. They watched the rest of the movie, his attitude healing minute by minute, his ego helping to patch up the holes in his facade.

The movie ended and Keith looked down to find Pidge had fallen asleep still curled up with her head on his lap. Lance started saying something, but Keith frantically waved his hands to shush him, motioning to Pidge. Lance immediately jumped a little bit, actually beginning to tip-toe around the common area, his eyebrows in his hairline, his lips pulled in a concerned smile.

He mouthed to Keith, “What do we do?” He raised his shoulders in an awkward shrug without trying to jostle Pidge. If the boys had learned anything from living together, it was to never _ever_ wake Pidge.She was always cranky in the mornings and it was even worse when someone other than her alarm woke her up. Once, Lance had been given the cold shoulder for three weeks.

Keith bit his lip and, as slowly as humanly possible, he lifted her head and slid out from under her, holding his breath as he set her head back down. Now that the two boys were successfully standing in the common area, the real question was what they were willing to risk. Would Pidge be more angry to have been left on the couch all night rather than carried to her room? Or would the sheer fact that she was _carried_ to her room make the boys target for assassination? Lance whispered frantically in Keith ear, “She does have that big exam tomorrow in comp sci, I think we should take her to her room to sleep comfortably.”

Keith nodded in agreement, he took a deep breath and gently slipped his arms under her neck and her knees, lifting her slowly and with as much fragility as possible. Lance watched with wide, concerned eyes as Keith carried the girl through the hall, taking even, gentle steps, sliding his socked feet across the ground. Lance jumped and opened the door to Pidge's room, pushing it open so the two could get in without Keith awkwardly turning the knob under Pidge's legs.

Lance hopped in front of Keith and pulled back the girl's sheet before Keith laid her down as gently as possible. Lance covered her with the mint green sheet and the two closed the door behind them before letting out a sigh of pure relief. They smiled at each other and hid in their room to laugh.

The next morning, Pidge was complaining to Hunk how she slept with her bra on and how her ribcage hurt, when Keith padded out of his room with a groggy look on his face. “So, Keith, my man,” Pidge crowed. The pale boy instantly froze, his yawn dying in his throat, his eyes going wide. “How'd I go from the couch to my bed without walking there, I wonder.”

Keith awkwardly pulled his lips into a smile and turned away from her with a shrug of his shoulders, grabbing the milk from the fridge. He tried his best to keep his tone light and free of the fear he felt in his fingertips, although it came out sounding more stressed than he wanted. “I have no earthly clue, Pidge. Maybe you flew?”

“Hey, that rhymed!” Lance called from the threshold of the doorway, running a hand through his hair as he stumbled to the bathroom to wash his face and go through his incredibly complex morning routine.

Pidge raised an eyebrow and shoveled a spoonful of cereal into her mouth, keeping a wary eye on Keith. The girl’s eyes narrowed and a hint of a smirk passed across her lips, turned to Hunk and innocently asked, “What color sheets do you think would go best with my room? My blue ones aren’t working for the feng shui of it all, you know what I mean?”

Hunk nodded, taking a bite of his eggs and thinking. “I thought your sheets were green?” Keith let the words fall out of his mouth, but soon a smile filled with mischief and a touch of wickedness crossed Pidge's face. She flicked her eyebrows up at Keith, a scary sight to behold, especially considering the hour.

“Ha! You totally carried me into my room last night!” In an instant, the small girl was out of her chair and rushing out from the table to where Keith was standing in the kitchen. The boy started, his socked feet sliding across the tiles as he slipped down the hallway, crashing into the bathroom. Keith rammed into Lance, his shoulder knocking the breath from Keith’s lungs, his frantic hands pushing Lance’s soaped fingers from his face. The taller boy let out a cry as his hips slammed into the counter, his face half-covered in a white foamy soap.

Keith pushed Lance in front of him with a half-smile painting on his lips, his eyes alive with playfulness. Pidge raced into the bathroom, taking pause when she saw Keith with his hands on Lance's shoulders, pushing his body in front of his own. The boyfriends watched as a wide grin pulled up her lips. She crossed her arms and sent a pointed look to Keith, asking, “You're such a wimp you'd use your boyfriend as a human shield?”

“Is that all I'm good for?” Lance whined, turning around and pouting at Keith.

Keith let out a huff of a laugh, moving his hands from Lance's shoulders to wrap one around his lower back, the other obviously cupping his butt. “Yeah, and your ass.” Pidge howled with laughter as Keith playfully slapped Lance's butt, the taller boy gasping and pushing himself out of Keith's arms.

“You wound me, Kogane,” Lance said with a scowl. “He's all yours, Pidge.” He shoved Keith out of the bathroom with a laugh and closed the door behind him.

Pidge, annoyed at the situation, but in a much better mood thanks to their crazy antics, kept Keith cornered in front of the bathroom door. “I don't appreciate you going into my room, but uh,” she twisted her fingers together, looking down for a second before letting a smile onto her lips, “thanks.”

Keith let his jaw drop as Pidge padded away from him, going back to her cereal. “I don't really know what your room looks like, but maybe green?” a groggy Hunk commented as soon as Pidge sat back down. The girl let out a cackle and thanked him.

   

~ ~ ~

 

“Lance, darling, my beautiful boyfriend who I love with all of my heart, the most--”

“What do you want?” He asked, sounded on the verge of irritated, but still smiling through his words.

Pretending to be aghast, Keith gasped and said, “Why ever would you think I wanted something from you?” His voice was coated with faux innocence, but with Lance’s tired, exhale of a laugh, Keith decided not to tease him any longer. “Are you home yet?”

“Yeah, I just walked through the door, babe.” God, he sounded beat.

“Oh, then nevermind!” Keith tried to sound as cheerful as possible. “I just wanted to see if you could bring a snack, but I don’t want to make you come back out.”

Lance made a noise of protest, but Keith shushed him. “You sound exhausted, I don’t want to make you do anything more. Just leave some of whatever you have for me so I can have some when I get home, okay?” With an over dramatic kiss noise, Keith hung up and went back to work.

Not even a half an hour later, Keith let out a huff of air as he pushed himself away from his desk, his wheelie chair flying out of his cubicle as he ran his hands through his hair with a groan. The guy from the cubicle next to him let out a laugh and asked if he was alright. Being that it was nearing midnight and Keith's bleary eyes kept making mistakes, he was doing rather horribly.

“I’m doing just fine, Klaizap!” he announced, irritation racing through his veins. The guy often felt it necessary to leave his own space and enter Keith’s, even though that was never what the situation warranted. He would hover behind Keith and pester him to no end with questions and tell him “funny” anecdotes that Keith never found amusing.

He heard Klaizap laugh again, his squeaky voice slicing through the air, “Okay, Keith! Just let me know if I can help with anything.” Keith nodded and yelled an affirming sort of noise before getting back to his work with slightly more energy in his blood, but also a decent dosage of ire.

As 12:30am approached and even Klaizap had left the office, Keith banged his forehead on the desk and mumbled, “Fuck it,” under his breath before saving his document and turning off his computer. With a tired, angry motion, Keith threw his backpack over his shoulders and stalked out of the office. He lingered in the pools of light under the streetlamps and rushed through the patches of darkness as he made his way back to his apartment.

It was pretty rough working spare afternoons and nights between and after classes, but he needed the money and the office he worked at didn't really care what hours you worked as long as you made deadlines and such. There wasn't too much in-person contact which Keith rather liked. He worked for an office that dealt with businesses and insurance policies and stuff that Keith didn't quite understand, but he knew what he had to do and he could do it as well as the next guy, so it worked out.

Keith slipped inside his dorm room at 12:45 to find a dark, slightly scary atmosphere that he was used to. With a sigh, he crept into his room and dropped his backpack on the ground by the bed before throwing off his clothes and sliding into bed next to Lance. The pretty boy smiled faintly and nestled himself against Keith's chest with a small noise as Keith draped his arms over Lance and almost instantly fell asleep.

When he woke up in the morning, Lance had already slipped out of bed and was probably already at class, knowing the difference in their schedules. Keith groaned, a little bummed out at not being able to say a single word to Lance, but what was new.

He slid out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom before heading into the kitchen with a slightly tamed bedhead and poured some cereal for himself. He almost jumped out of his skin when he noticed Pidge shoveling cocoa puffs into her mouth with a glazed over look in her eyes. “Oh, good morning, Pidge.” It was the girl's turn to jump and she very nearly spilled her spoonful of milk (she'd missed the cereal on that particular scoop).

“I thought you had class at eleven?” Her voice was quiet and confused as she narrowed her eyes at him.

Keith, with a racing heart and panicked breathing, set his bowl on the counter to check his phone. 11:37 flashed on the screen and he widened his eyes at looked back at Pidge. “I do.” A horrified expression crossed his face. “Oh my god!” He threw a t-shirt over his head and slid his feet into flip flops that were not his, grabbing his backpack and flying out of the dorm. “See ya later, Pidge!” The girl shook her head and went back to her cereal with a small smile on her lips.

Pidge didn't have any classes on Friday, so she normally spent thursday night to do her coding homework. Honestly, she had planned on being done with it before one in the morning, but then one turned to three and Pidge was still determined to figure out a line of code she'd been messing up somehow. It wasn't until almost 4:30 am that she'd had gone to sleep. But the hacker was used to that.

She had to make money somehow, and so she did semi-legal things to get people information. What they did with that information she neither wanted to know, nor did she care to know. There were some nights she wouldn't sleep at all in order to get to something she needed. And then she would have to go to class after that. She found out coffee was a friend she desperately needed.

For today, though, she could take a break and kick back with some quality cartoons and order-in pizza. She was excited to do nothing.

Keith made it to his class around 11:50, out of breath and very red in the face. Everyone stared at him as he attempted to calm his breathing as he slid into his seat with a shaky hand through his hair. He was glad that he made it for some of the lecture, at least.

Keith was seriously missing that abandoned bowl of cereal not even five minutes after he made it to the class, his hands pressed awkwardly to his gut to somehow repress the gurgling noises. By the end of the lecture, it felt like his stomach was trying to eat itself. He stopped and grabbed a soft pretzel at a food cart before walking back to his apartment to work on his homework for the class he had at four.

When Keith made it home, Pidge was passed out on the couch, a bag of chips open on her stomach, Adventure Time playing on the TV while she snored. Keith laughed and heated up some pasta quietly before retreating into his room to work.

 

~ ~ ~

 

After his four o'clock class, Keith was at work by 5:30 and his head was spinning. He'd never wanted to poke out people's eyes as much as in that moment. There was the typical group of three men by the coffee machines, which were of course right next to Keith's cubicle. He always got to hear the most interesting conversations.

Today, the conversation topic of choice was the gay population. One of the men, with a disgusting laugh, said, “Yeah, I caught these two fags making out in some alleyway and I beat them up, punched one right in the jaw. The other one was trying so hard to protect his little boyfriend, must’ve been the guy in the relationship, right?”

Keith could not stop his jaw from dropping open. What the actual fuck? He knew people of this caliber existed, but to be so near one was dizzying. All the men laughed with him and a different one went on a rant about religion and the bible. Keith's blood was thrumming underneath his skin, simmering heat traveling through his body.

The gay boy flicked his gaze over to where the men were standing and found he could only see one of them. With a deep breath he tried to make it look as casual as possible when he careened his neck around to get a look at the men. He suppressed a surprised noise and frantically went back to typing when one of the men turned to look at him. There was no way in hell he was going to tell these guys off. Each of them must have the premium gym membership or some shit because damn, they were ripped, and they were fucking scary.

The one who had caught his eye smiled and came around with his buddies, his tone light and yet edged in something almost sinister. “Hey, Keith. We hardly ever see you around.” Keith plastered a smile on his face and swiveled in his chair to face out of his cubicle, sending his bright, fake-ass smile right to the guy speaking. “So, are you going to come to the Christmas party?”

Keith opened his mouth to decline when one of the others slapped a heavy hand down on his shoulder, “It would be totally lame if you didn't come, bud.” His eyes were steely and scarily serious as they burrowed deep into Keith's wide ones.

“You should totally bring your girlfriend! Unless,” cue dramatic glance at all the friends and a wry smile, “you've got a pretty little boyfriend?” And then the group burst out in laughter, Keith's chuckles awkward and extremely forced as his heart raced.

But then the laughing was over and all three men were looking at him expectantly. “You guys are _so_ funny! But, yeah, I'll be at the Christmas Party with my girlfriend. I'll be sure to introduce you guys!” He laughed as one of them put his hand back on his shoulder, locking their eyes and nodding solemnly. Keith smiled awkwardly and turned back to his computer.

_What the fuck was he going to do?_

 

~ ~ ~

 

“Pidge, before you say no, please let me lay out the situation,” Keith started, throwing his backpack onto the couch as he took a seat at the table next to Pidge who was slurping some spaghetti while tapping on her phone. She raised a single eyebrow and shoveled another mouthful of pasta into her mouth. “So, I was at work and these three super buff guys were—”

“Excuse me?” Lance, who was stirring something on the stove threw his head up and stared down Keith. “Super buff? Do you want me to work out, baby? What are you saying?” His voice had taken a tone that would have been perceived as humorous and purely joking had he used it with anyone other than Keith, who knew him all too well for the tone of voice to go over his head. Lance was joking, but he really was concerned about the issue. Masking his problems with humor was his way to cope and Keith was well aware.

Keith sent a small smile to Lance and continued. “These guys were talking about how they beat up gays and the like—”

“Never mind!” Lance singsonged a little frantically from the kitchen as Keith let another smile pull his lips as he shook his head.

“And then I accidentally made eye contact with one of them.” Pidge nodded with a serious expression, knowing exactly how awkward it can be to catch someone's eye whom you did not mean to catch. “And then they came over and asked if I was going to come to the Christmas Party! Of course I wasn't planning on going to the party, but then they joked about my being gay—which, in case you weren't aware, is very, very true—so I had to say that I was going to bring my girlfriend to the Christmas party.”

Pidge nodded and swallowed a mouthful of pasta. “I don't see what this has to do with me.” She looked up and saw Keith's pleading expression and immediately pushed herself to her feet, grabbing her plate and shaking her head. “Nope. Kogane, I don't care about the circumstances, I will not pretend to be your girlfriend.”

Keith snatched the plate out of her hands, throwing it onto the table and grabbing Pidge's shoulders, forcing her to look Keith in the eyes. “I need you. You are literally the only girl I know. Please. I'm begging you. I'll do anything.” His voice was as frantic as his eyes as they jumped all around her face, gauging her willingness with shaking fingers.

“I'm the only girl you know? That's sad. Even for you, Keith.” He shrugged his shoulders, his eyes wide and pleading. She sighed. “You'll do anything, you say?” Keith pursed his lips, considering going back on his word, not sure what the devilish girl would make his do. But, if it helped him escape being beat up in an alleyway by the guys he worked with, he really would pretty much do anything. “Fine!” she called, rolling her eyes and pushing herself out of Keith's arms before he could fold her into an awkward hug.

Keith smiled and started to thank her when she smirked, catching and holding his eyes with her gaze. “You have to take me on a proper date as my fake boyfriend, but you have to dress exactly as I want you to.”

Public humiliation. Obviously Pidge would choose something reasonable sounding but could spiral into something horribly mortifying. But there was little Keith could do. So he accepted with a serious nod and a promise.

Lance pouted as Keith slid into the kitchen to grab a bite to eat. “I could dress up like a girl, mullet.” His voice was laced in sadness and something akin to jealousy.

“I'm sorry, babe, but you have the sexiest voice alive and there's no way you could fool anyone with it,” Keith told him, wrapping his arms around Lance's waist while the boy smiled with narrowed eyes, catching the insult behind the compliment. Keith pressed his lips against Lance's and dipped him romantically. “You'll always be my one and only, Lance, darling.”

Lance blushed and crinkled up his nose while sticking his tongue out, a little annoyed that his stupid boyfriend was able to fluster him, but he so madly in love with him he didn't really care. “I'm not worried. I think Pidge would castrate you before you could try anything on her, so...” Keith let out a laugh and nodded, agreeing with him as he eyed the boyish girl. She had her legs splayed open on the couch, a bowl of popcorn nestled in her crotch as she stuffed handfuls in her mouth, Adventure Time blaring on the television. The couple looked at one another and laughed.

 

~ ~ ~

 

“You can not be serious.” Keith was about to gag as he motioned to himself, his eyes trapped on his reflection in the full length mirror in the dressing room. Pidge, not looking overly masculine, had boldly slipped into the men's changing room with Keith, holding a few articles of clothing in her arms and wearing a devious smile.

Keith had changed into the first outfit Pidge had found for him, a pair of hot pink booty shorts with the word “tasty” written across the ass and a Hawaiian-themed button down. Keith had walked out of the dressing room with a glare and a bit of fear in his eyes. The minute Pidge had seen the outfit, she started cackling, her eyes squeezing almost shut, her hands wrapping around her torso as she doubled over.

Keith took a second to look himself down in the outfit, finding himself horrified at the pineapple prints and maple leaves? on the button down. If he had to take one step out of the dressing room, he thought he would die. But gauging Pidge's reaction, he probably wouldn't be leaving with this outfit. He let a smile break across his face as he looked back at himself. “Okay, but honestly, Lance would look great in these,” Keith mentioned, waggling his butt in the mirror while Pidge very nearly curled up on the floor, a laughing puddle.

Pidge pursed her lips and took a deep, calming breath, trying to get herself under control. “Yeah, yeah.” Keith let out a laugh and struck a pose, both of his hands in his hair, his ass popped, his lips pursed, one knee bent, pure model on his face.

Pidge could not contain herself as Keith let a laugh bubble from his lips, sticking his tongue out at Pidge playfully, going to change into the next outfit. The girl was gasping for air, tears welling in her eyes as she very nearly collapsed from laughter.

It definitely did not help when Keith came out in the next outfit. The poor black-haired boy was dressed in maroon velvet pants, pulled tight across his thighs and belling out around his ankles. He was wearing a white crop-top, exposing his pale stomach to the world, the flowy top awkwardly sagging over Keith's chest, lacking the boobs required to make the shirt look okay.

Pidge bit her lip, suppressing her laughter. “This is just cringy.” Keith let out a snort and shook his head, silently retreating to the dressing room with a bemused look upon his face. Pidge was glad that Keith wasn't in too terrible a mood, being that right after this shopping spree, they were going to walk around and grab ice cream and take all the pictures Keith could stand. If he had been in a sour mood because of the rules of the game, Pidge would not have been happy.

No matter his mood, nor the pained look on his face, Pidge could not stop the laughter from erupting out her lips when Keith came out in the next outfit. He was dressed in skin-tight cheetah print pants with an oversized sweatshirt that was riddled in awkwardly placed holes and scratches (Keith hoped she didn’t notice the hole that completely exposed one of his nipples).

Pidge's eyes went wide as soon as Keith lifted the hood over his head and showed the two holes on the rim on the hood that could be pulled down half of his face so he could see out of them. Pidge immediately started cackling and Keith stuck out his tongue at her.

“I don't understand this! Who in their right mind would buy something with this many holes? A sweatshirt like this doesn't even serve it's purpose.” He shook his head and pursed his lips. He leaned against the door frame of the dressing room and raised an eyebrow at the laughing girl. “I have no clothes left. What'll be?”

She ran a hand through her hair and let out a puff of air. A devilish smile passed her lips and she licked her teeth like a wild animal. “How about the tasty booty shorts and this delightful sweatshirt?” Keith let out a groan.

“You are not making me wear pink booty shorts in public, Pidge!”

She smiled and raised an eyebrow before shrugging her shoulders. “Have fun alone at your Christmas Party!” Keith's eyebrows went right up to his hairline and his mouth dropped open to say something, but the words died in his throat. He closed his mouth and pouted, throwing a glare at Pidge before stalking back into the dressing room and slipping on the booty shorts, never having felt so naked before in his life.

And he looked naked too. The impractical sweatshirt landed just below the booty shorts on his legs, leaving him looking like he wasn't wearing any pants. He glared at Pidge from the mirror and put his hands on his hips, resting most of his weight on one foot with a pout. Pidge bit her lip and shook her head. “I was wrong. Try the Hawaii tee and the cheetah print.”

Keith rolled his eyes and switched clothes, his skin feeling violated from the many times he'd pulled clothes on and off over the course of a very small portion of time. He came out and Pidge started howling. The background color for the Hawaii tee was the same exact color as the yellowy-brown of the pants he had squeezed into. He looked like a disgusting pile of vomit and Pidge was enjoying herself far too much.

Keith slipped his red converse on and Pidge threw a hot pink fedora on his head as they were checking out with a devil's smile on her lips. “No! Pidge, please, have mercy!” he cried, putting both his hands on her shoulders, shaking her.

“A deal's a deal, bruh.”

Keith squeezed his eyes shut and silently placed the hat on top of the pants and button down in their basket. They bought the clothes and Keith awkwardly slithered around in the backseat of the car, trying to pull the pants up to his hips without the jumping some pants truly needed to get up there. After a lot of pain and a few minutes, Keith was settled in the driver's seat with a devious Pidge sitting shotgun.

The two decided to park in the library parking lot before walking around and grabbing ice cream. They thought about seeing a movie but Pidge denied the idea, saying she wanted to make sure enough people got to see him in all his glory. Keith shook his head and dropped his forehead onto the steering wheel with a pained sigh.

Keith got along great with Pidge, she was smart and witty, but sometimes she was a little exhausting, not that the introvert could stand being with people for all that long. The two parked and were walking toward the center of town to grab ice cream from what she claimed to be the best ice cream shop in the area (Keith personally preferred a different shop, but he wasn't about to get into a fight with Pidge).

Keith went to open the door but Pidge grabbed his arm and tugged him back to stand next to her. With a smile she pulled out her phone and a snapped a couple selfies with the ice cream sign in the background, and a pained Keith on the side. His pink hat almost glowed in the photo and Pidge could not stop laughing as they walked into the shop.

Ice cream in hand, Pidge grabbed a full shot of Keith with his chocolate ice cream cone, pink hat, Hawaiian shirt, and cheetah pants. The first one was a great candid, in Pidge's book, but the next one included an angry expression on Keith's face as he looked up and saw Pidge taking a photo of him. The next photo was a blur as Keith rushed past, a pout painted onto his lips.

Keith had to admit, when they first walked into the ice cream store, a mom and her teenage son stared at him while the son suppressed his laughter. Keith had crossed his arms and glared into the corner of the shop. But other than the periodic laughing fit from Pidge as she snapped another picture of the unknowing boy and the awkward stares he received, Keith sort of enjoyed hanging out with Pidge on the town.

She was a whirlwind, talking fast and dragging him places he had little interest in going, always pointing out different places that she had gone to before and met some strange person or something like that. After what was probably much longer than either had thought, the two found themselves walking back to the car.

“I can't believe you made me wear this,” Keith muttered, pulling at the disgusting Hawaiian shirt and pursing his lips, suppressing a smile as he shook his head. “That boy was totally laughing at me in the ice cream shop.”

Pidge let out a giggle. “He totally was. But I mean, who wasn't?” To jab at him even further, she skipped forward a few steps and began walking backwards, facing him. “You 100% didn’t notice, but when we stopped in that tacky little hat shop, the woman behind the counter, I swear to god, almost threw up looking at your hat.”

Keith sent a sidelong glance at her before rolling his eyes, laughter escaping his lips, and stuffing his hands into his tight, tight pockets. The two made their way home, Keith refusing to return home just so Lance's ridicule in his current outfit. He slipped his regular clothes on awkwardly in the back of the car once again, although he did have a significantly easier time getting into his own black jeans.

They rode home, sharing a comfortable conversation, Keith complaining about how tight the pants were. The two made it home and Keith pushed the door to their apartment open to an excited Lance jumping off the couch and launching himself into Keith's arms. Keith stumbled backwards, nearly falling as Pidge let out a screech and dodged Keith's step into her.

“Keith! I'm so glad you're home!” Keith wrapped his arms around Lance after a moment of hesitation for his confusion to set in. He furrowed his brows and pulled back from Lance, guiding his boyfriend back inside and letting Pidge actually come inside the apartment.

“What's the occasion, babe?” Keith asked, dropping the bag of his new clothes on the floor by the couch and throwing a look at Lance, who was wringing his hands awkwardly, his mouth open, but words refusing to work for him.

Lance took a deep breath before rolling his shoulders back, taking a bigger stance and shoving his hands into his pockets, feigning a casual look. “So, how was it?”

“The afternoon with Pidge on the town? I can't say it the worst thing, but I certainly didn't enjoy the stares or the laughs.” He sent a glare to Pidge as she laughed and shut the door to her room closed. “Pidge is brutal, I can't belie—”

Keith was cut off as Lance slid his hands through his hair and slammed his lips onto his. Keith was surprised but found his hands wrapping around Lance's lower back and tugging his hips closer against his own, deepening the kiss. Lance broke his lips off Keith's and rested his forehead against his boyfriend's. “I know it's stupid but I just wanted to make sure you knew you're mine. I'm a jealous creature, Keith. I don't like to be left out of things.” His voice was deep and laced with lust as he bit Keith's lip, pressing another kiss against his mouth.

“Don't worry, baby. I'm all yours,” Keith responded, narrowing his eyes with a smirk and wrapping one arm tighter around his lower back while the other cupped his ass. Lance led Keith into their bedroom and made sure Keith knew Lance loved every bit of him.

 

~ ~ ~

 

“Yep. This is, uh, this, this is my girlfriend.” Keith's smile was extremely fake and very stressed as his fingers tapped nervously on the small of Pidge's back. She cracked a smile and batted her mascaraed eyelashes at the man who'd “invited” Keith to the party in the first place.

The man laughed and clapped a hand down on Keith's shoulder with a drunken chuckle. “She's a pretty little thing, isn't she?”

Keith prickled and wrapped his arm around Pidge, pulling her against him a little rougher than he'd meant to. “Very pretty.” He sent a pained smile to him and rolled his eyes as soon as he stumbled off to another couple, loosening his hold on his date. “I'm so sorry to subject you to this, but thank you,” Keith whispered, leading Pidge over to the table where they had a large chocolate fountain set up along with trays of dippings.

Keith hadn't quite realized what a big thing this Christmas Party actually was, but he was kind of glad he came. The two made quiet conversation, stifling their laughter and pointing out ugly ties and hideous dresses. Pidge was dressed in a calm green dress with one shoulder that was adorned in a large flowers made of the same fabric. The rest of dress was simple but complimented her body shape well, the hem brushing over her silver heels.

One of the men who proudly stated he beat up gays in an alleyway, sauntered over, a drunken air to his wobble as he leaned heavily on the table next to them, a baffled look on his face. “I-I thought you were gay?” His voice was deep and seeped in confusion as he pointed a finger in Keith's general direction.

Panic flared across his chest, his heart constricting, each beat taking more and more effort. “Uh, well, I'm not. This is my girlfriend, Pidge.” His voice was strained as he draped an arm around Pidge's shoulders, she even went the extra mile and wrapped her arms around his waist, painting a sweet smile on her face. They were both masking their fear well, but the drunken man was not having any of their lies.

He shook his head, a scary laugh bubbling from his lips. “No, no. I remember you were talking to your boyfriend a couple weeks ago.” Keith opened his mouth and the man took a step toward him with a growl and a jabbing finger. “You were! You're a dirty fag!”

Keith swallowed harshly and pushed Pidge behind him, the girl letting out a noise of complaint as the man dug his finger into Keith's chest. “You’re disgusting, you know that?” He ground his teeth as he noticed a small group of people watching with weary eyes. “Where did you even find this poor girl, huh?” The guy accused, his voice coated in revulsion. Keith was determined not to get mad, his fingers itching as he trapped them inside his pockets inside of curling into fists.

But then, the crazy drunk wrapped his greasy, meaty fingers around Pidge's wrist, her eyes slingshotting back to Keith, fear alive in the spark in her eye. “Keith!” Pidge let out, her voice squeaky as she reached out for him, being dragged closer to the man.

Without hesitation, Keith took a step forward and slammed his fist into the man's jaw, his head throwing itself to the side as he stumbled backwards, letting go of Pidge. She took a step back, her finger wrapping gently around her soon-to-be bruised wrist, biting her lip as a guy rushed to pull the boys apart.

But whoever was going to stop the fight couldn't stop the man's punch from connecting with Keith's nose. With a stifled cry of pain, Keith stumbled away from him, blood dripping out of his nose as Pidge let out a panicked gasp, her hands thrusting out in front of her, concern in her fingertips.

Keith licked his teeth, blood gushing out of his nose and staining his lips and teeth, looking like a wild animal. He curled his fingers for another punch when someone's arms grabbed his shoulders, pulling him away from the man just as another guy did the same to his opponent. The man looked much better for wear, compared to Keith's bloody nose.

Pidge bit her lip and approached Keith slowly and with caution, her eyebrows furrowed. “Keith? Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Fine.” His words were stark and cold as he watched the other man shake off the guy holding him back. He pursed his lips and rolled his shoulders back, slowly lifting his fingers to his nose, looking with interest as they came back covered in blood. He seemed to freeze and he roughly smeared the blood across his face in a careless attempt to wipe the blood off. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice pitched as he turned to face her, his bloodied hands hovering over her, his eyes looking her up and down frantically.

“I'm fine, Keith. Let's get you cleaned up, huh?” Pidge's voice was gentle and soft, as if she truly were dealing with a wild animal. Keith nodded, licking some of the fresher blood off his top lip, following Pidge into the men's bathroom and allowing her to dampen a paper towel and dab the blood off his face. “Lance is so gonna have my ass,” Pidge mumbled, trying her best to be soft as she wiped the blood off his face. She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head as she noticed the drops of blood on Keith's nice dress shirt. It was going to be fun trying to get that out.

She instructed him to hold a paper towel against his nostril as the two left the party, Pidge's feet killing her as she hobbled on her high heels. They hailed a cab and rode home in silence, Keith taking the paper towel away from his nose and expecting it to be done bleeding but finding that not to be the case. The cabbie was itching to ask about what had happened, but even if he'd managed to get the words out, neither would have responded anyway.

They stumbled together to the apartment, Pidge taking a deep breath as she pushed the door open and let Keith in before closing it behind her, resting her forehead against the door as Lance let out a horrified, “Oh my god! What happened?” from his place on the couch.

Pidge turned around and opened her mouth to speak for Keith when she watched his shoulder slump and Lance push himself to his feet, his eyes softening as tears welled in Keith's eyes. Keith let out a broken sob as Lance wrapped his arms around him, Pidge standing alone in an awkward in-between space. Should she retreat into her room and allow the boys to deal with one another by themselves? Or should she stay and try to comfort the poor boy and explain what had happened in more words than Keith could probably manage at the moment?

Pidge bit her lip and saw Lance's lips moving against Keith's ear. She let out a sigh and slipped into her room, stripping out of the dress that she could obviously never wear again and kicking off her high heels. Everything had been going fine until that drunken lard ass accosted Keith. Pidge was playing the perfect trophy girlfriend, flashy smiles but staying silent.

She was splayed in bed, watching a youtube video of some popular guy talking about his journey through the dark web, to which she cackled, being a frequent visitor of the dark web herself. She paused the video and swallowed a giggle as she heard a knock at the door, solemnity flooding her system as the events of the evening came rushing toward her.

She squeezed her eyes shut and slipped out of bed, opening her door to a tired Lance leaning on her door frame. “Can I come in? Or do you wanna talk in the common area?” His words were smothered by something bigger than sorrow or confusion.

Pidge nodded and opened her door wider, pushing herself up onto her bed, letting her feet dangle and her back press against the wall. She patted next her her and invited Lance to sit on her bed, to which he raised an eyebrow but complied. “Can you explain to me what happened? Keith was mumbling things about the unfair world and him being gay? I didn't want to pressure him into telling me what happened, and he passed out on the couch. I thought I would wait until morning to get the story out of him, but you can tell me, right?”

Pidge nodded, her eyes downcast as she thought about Keith falling asleep, tears intermingling with the blood on his face, his mind stuck in places it shouldn't be. Being a part of the lgbtq+ community is never a thing someone should be prejudiced against for, and it made Pidge's blood boil.

The two sat on her bed, Pidge playing with the edge of her blanket. She recounted everything that had happened to a horrified Lance who ended up bringing his knees to his chest and dropping his head into his legs with a sigh.

“People fucking suck,” Lance moaned, bringing his knees closer to him as he choked back his sadness, all the things Keith had mumbled making sense to him now that he knew the full story. Pidge brought her own knees to her chest, letting sorrow overtake her anger as she bit her lip and sighed. Suppressing a nervous noise as Pidge tentatively leaned her head against Lance’s shoulder, he let a small smile cross his lips as the two shared the darkness.

 

~ ~ ~

 

Keith woke up with a crick in his neck and a weird sort of knowledge that it was crazy early. The sun wasn't even up yet, but as he tried to sit up, he crinkled his nose, noticing the stiffness that lay there and above his lip. He put his fingers to his nose and the events of last night slammed into him. He squeezed his eyes closed and suppressed the tears that threatened. He'd cried on Lance's shoulder for far longer than he had meant to—well, he never actually meant to start crying, but as soon as he made eye contact with his beautiful boyfriend, he couldn't hold it back.

He'd been a mess. Blubbering on and on about how people hated him and why should they hate him when Lance was so wonderful and their relationship was the best he'd ever been in? He was caught up in the emotions of it all, and in pain and the knowledge that there were people who would hurt him simply because of the gender he was romantically interested in was crazy.

His mind was whirring around and around as he pushed himself to his feet to get himself cleaned up. He was heading to the bathroom when he passed Pidge's door, slightly left ajar.

Pidge.

How was she doing? He'd only been thinking about himself and yet the poor girl he'd dragged to the party was all alone and struggling. He pushed the door open slightly and let a smile break across his face as he saw Lance passed out, drooling on Pidge's shoulder. He was glad they were able to talk last night. He hadn't really been in a state to explain what had happened, and Lance deserved the whole story before the morning came.

Keith padded into the bathroom and wiped the blood off his face, licking his lips and finding disgustingly dried blood caked there. He stripped and stepped into the shower, saying a quiet apology as he turned on the water, knowing Hunk's room was right next to the bathroom and the pipes sometimes squealed.

With the warm water rolling down his face and working its way into his hair, he felt relaxation fall over him. It took too long, but with some gentle, even breaths, he was finally able to settle into a content mindset, one phrase reverberating around his skull. People will always be people and sometimes, people are really goddamn awful people.

Keith decided that he was going to contact the board and tell them what happened and hope that they can do something about it. Even if the other guy made up some story, there would probably only be a handful of people who would be on his side anyway.  Keith washed away his sorrows and let the water relieve the tension in his shoulders. It was the day before Christmas Eve and after one phone call, he wasn't going to think about it anymore.

   

~ ~ ~

 

“So, thank you, Pidge.” The girl smiled wide and threw her arms around Keith, mumbling a thank you herself, her new, fancy, keyboard sitting on the ground by her knees. Lance sent a smile to Keith as Pidge crawled off him, her fingers finding the taped edges of the box and hurriedly opening it to marvel at it's beauty.

Lance leaned heavily on Keith's shoulder, tired after waking up early to make breakfast before Shiro, Allura, and Coran came over. It was mentioned that perhaps someone who owned an actual house and not a cramped apartment should hold the Christmas celebration, but alas, here they were.

Shiro licked his lips, blinked and put a hefty hand on Keith's knee. “So, what you're telling me is you made Pidge pretend to be your girlfriend so you could avoid getting beat up, but you got beat up anyway?”

Keith pursed his lips and nodded before letting his eyes fall closed with a light laugh. “Yep. That's exactly what I'm telling you.” Everyone laughed in a sort of stressed way, but as soon as Pidge shot a smile at Keith and handed him his own gift, the group settled back into their casual demeanor. Keith let a smile crack his lips as he pulled the paper off a rectangular present.

His mouth dropped open as he ripped the paper to reveal a framed picture of the two of them. Of course, Keith was slung up on the outside of the ice cream shop, his arms above his head, another model moment captured on his face, one leg bent with the sole of his foot pressed against the wall. Pidge's large face was laughing in the corner of the selfie, her hair blowing in the wind and a glimmer of a tear on her bottom lashes. Keith's face turned bright red and he folded the paper back over the horrifying image as the group lunged forward to see what Pidge had given him.

Pidge was rolling around on the ground, holding her stomach as laughs escaped her lips, small tears forming in the corners of her eyes. Keith bit his lip and let his head fall back in exasperation as Lance grabbed the frame from him, and soon laughter was abounding. Pidge had mentioned the awful outfit when the story had been recounted, but Keith didn't expect to be reminded of how awful he looked so soon after the turn of events.

But, if the girl was known for anything, it was being the biggest sass master in existence. She had been dragged to a pretty disastrous Christmas Party, and as payment, she was going to feed on Keith's embarrassment.

The group descended into laughter and the joy of being with one another, knowing that there was no place they'd rather be.

**Author's Note:**

> Now with art!! Please go check out more of Lyrikin's amazing art at her [tumblr](http://lyrikin.tumblr.com)! She currently has emergency commissioning going on as of December 5th, 2017! So go commission her, she's an amazing artist and amazing to work with! More info [here](http://lyrikin.tumblr.com/post/168209131578/emergency-traditional-commissions-as-you-already)!!
> 
> Thanks for reading! I wrote this far too long ago, and am posting it in time for the season! Happy Holidays everyone!!


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